Well, that’s honestly a good question. You can’t go forward with life if you don’t learn anything. Otherwise you are doomed to repeat every mistake until you wake up and learn. I definitely take stock in myself and I am not afraid to humble myself to become a better person. There’s only so much legitimate suffering you can go through before you start to want to wake up from the nightmares.
I have wanted to be “in the lifestyle” for a long time. A close friend was worried about innocent and sweet me, in a den of wolves looking to pounce. It’s not like that at all. I am holding my head high and walking unafraid. I know exactly what is out there and what I need to do to ensure my safety and pleasure alike. There’s nothing “evil” about it.
I don’t have a huge ego. Quite the opposite. But, I do understand that I am not a normal “run of the mill” lady. I am worthy of respect and care. Even if we’re just getting coffee, I expect a certain amount of decorum, especially in public. Behind closed doors, you can be more erotic in your speech and actions. You are an adult and I expect to be treated like one.
Having standards for wanting to be treated reasonably is NOT a sin. For some reason, this was drummed into me from early childhood. I was nothing but disposable and I didn’t deserve to be cared about. This kind of programming is detrimental in to all kids alike. Having boundaries is extremely healthy. It helps ensure that you aren’t taken advantage of by unscrupulous people. Usually if they take your right to boundaries and safe treatment, it’s so they can use your innocence against yourself.
Being able to hold my head straight because I have a spine now. It’s titanium hard and I’m not going to let anyone strip me of my boundaries or my respect. Not only is this important for bedroom time, but it’s important for day to day vanilla contact with the outside world.
So yeah, big learning lesson & I am glad it happened.
Leave a Reply